Ok, so let me say first, that “frequently” is a relative term. What is frequent for one person may be seldom for another person. Continual, persistent, recurrent—these are all good words too, but may not be as frequently used as…you know, frequently. And nobody wants to see the answers to seldomly asked questions because…people only seldomly ask them. But I digress.
So, here is a list of FAQ’s, as best I can determine, and all their answers. But does anyone really have all the answers? I mean…oh, sorry. I’ll stop.
Frequently Asked Questions
Where do you get the ideas for your stories?
I live a very boring life, so I note down all the interesting things that happen to other people and change the names.
Are you planning to write any series of books?
I have an idea for a series about a boy who attends a school of wizardry and trains to battle a bunch of angsty, romantic vampires, but I’ve heard that’s been done. So, no. Not at present.
You say dialogue should sound real but be interesting. What do you mean?
To sound real, characters should sound like who they are. For example, an old man should speak like an old man and a young girl should speak like a young girl. However, if you wrote down all the things an actual person said during a day to make them sound real, they’d be terrifically boring. They’d be clear, but likely not very interesting. So, to avoid that, you need to make dialogue between characters a little “flirty” and I don’t mean anything hinky by that. Flirtatious talking is mysterious, witty, and clever. It’s usually short and filled with mystery and innuendo and leaves so much to the imagination…and it’s fun. Dialogue should be fun.
What is the meaning of life?
Dogs.
What subjects did you teach in school?
English, Social Studies, Stagecraft, History, Public Speaking, Drama…basically any class they’d let me teach.
You write in your bio that you were in the film business. Were you ever in any movies?
No, but I made a bunch of home movies with my family—monster movies, gritty urban crime dramas, mockumentaries—Does that count?
What makes a good story?
A character with a problem. Always. Even before Sophocles, stories have always a been about a character with a problem. Life is filled with conflict and it’s those challenges that drive us forward every day, and in our spare time we love to read about interesting people facing problems. It’s kinda twisted but that’s human nature. Authors are even more twisted; I mean, we have to make up mean things to do to our perfectly nice characters.
Do you have any special skills that assist you in your writing?
I can juggle knives, but I wouldn’t recommend that to any aspiring authors. Learning how to type is pretty good all by itself and it’s easier to keep all your fingers that way too.
What were your biggest creative influences growing up?
Rod Serling, Kurt Vonnegut, The Beatles, and especially Monty Python…I also have a soft spot in my heart for Mr. Kotter, but that’s more of a teacher influence, so it doesn’t really count.
What is the best way to build a campfire?
You need to build a teepee with your fuel wood so it becomes a small chamber to collect and amplify the heat. Inside the teepee should be some paper or easily ignited material and some kindling. Don’t bother with the flints or friction starters, just use a lighter. I mean they have been invented expressly for that purpose, why not use them?
So, those are the FAQ’s. What I want to know is if people post the FAQ’s and people read the FAQ’s, don’t the Q’s get less F because they are A’d?